Wow I Thought It Would Get Easier!

So it is that time of year again when I am really happy and really sad at the same time. I love Christmas! I love everything about it! It is my favorite time of year, but it is also the most difficult time of year for me as well. If you can believe it or not it has been 3 years tomorrow since we lost our sweet little Hunter. I think that it has been harder on me this year than last year. You would think the longer it has been the easier it would get! Nope not in my case :) My heart is aching to be able to hold him and love on him.

He would have been 5 this year. He would always say "I can't wait until I am 5 so I can go to school with all the big kids." He was a really smart boy and was super excited to start school as well as play sports just like his older cousins. He would always love to go to their soccer games and after they were over he would say "can I play soccer just like them when I am 5". Maybe that is why this year has been harder than the last. I think one of the hardest things for me is attending any of my nieces and nephews concerts, sports events, etc. It breaks my heart that he was never able to participate in any of these activities and that he was so excited to turn 5 so he can be just like his cousins.

We went to the cemetery today to put some Christmas decorations up and to put some fresh flowers on his grave. Of course I have been teary eyed all day. Being at worked helped in that department keeping my mind busy.

One of my friends today text me to see if there was anything she could do for me and if I minded that she brought me flowers. The only response I could say was that I am just happy that she remembers and that he is not forgotten. Her response to that was that if it was important to me that it was important to her. I am thankful to have such great friends.

Kaleb doesn't quite understand where Hunter is at. McKensie called him brother a few days ago and he says "no I am not brother, brother is sick and points to the picture of Hunter" We are working on trying to explain to him but he is still little and doesn't quite understand.

Jeff and I are working on being able to go to the Temple so that we can be sealed to our kids. This is our goal that we are setting ourselves to meet this next coming year. I would love nothing more to know that we are sealed to our children for all eternity. It breaks my heart right now to know that we are not yet sealed to my sweet little Hunter! However, I do know that he is with us and will be watching and helping us meet this goal.

I think that this has been the hardest thing that the Lord has tested me with. However, I do know that he does not throw anything at us that we can not handle. I just keep thinking that I am so sad and hurt that we lost Hunter but extremely happy that Kaleb was saved. I remember the day of Hunter's funeral I was sitting by Kaleb's bed side holding his hand waiting for someone to come sit with him so he wouldn't have to be alone. When all of the sudden he opened one of his eyes. The day we layed our oldest son to rest it was sort of like our other son was born again. I think the lord works in mysterious ways. I really believe having Kaleb come out of the coma that specific day was the lord's gift to us to help get us through the toughest trial in our life.

So I have been rambling on, and on but I do feel better being able to share my thoughts and feelings. Life is precious and we all need to live it to the fullest. We never know what the lord has in store for us.

Hunter Pictures!

Thanksgiving

So I haven't blogged forever which I am having to back up a few weeks in order to get in some of the main events.

Thanksgiving was great this year. We all got together at Heathers for our big feast! Yes, all of us together in one house is crazy but I wouldn't miss it for the world. I love the tradition as we all take our part and each of us make parts of the dinner. This year we had 3 turkeys. Yes 3 whole turkeys. Lots of turkey leftovers but it sure goes to good use.

I always love our family gatherings. The good food and the games we play afterwards. We were lucky this year and our Aunt and Uncle from Utah came in for the big event along with a few of our cousins. It was a nice treat to have them here. I learned how to make lots of different candies. Of course that is what we all need to be eating this time of year. I loved it!! We are glad they were able to join us.

This year I kept seeing posts of what everyone was thankful for. We all have lots to be thankful for. I am most thankful for our big family and all the support and love they give each other.

McKensie Turns 2 Today!!

I can't believe that it has been 2 years already. She has grone up fast! She is a very smart girl and we are very proud of her. We love you sister.

She has always had her own little personality. Of course she loves sweets and is always excitited to eat them. Here she is eating her first birthday cake and in heaven.

This was her at Christmas showing off the little bit of attitude she has. She was playing peek-a-boo with the camera and I do say it turned out really cute.
We got her a dress for her Birthday and I can't believe how grown up she looks in it. She is so big and very girly. She loves dresses & dolls.
She especially loves Hats! This is a hat that her Grandma Judi got her for her birthday and she just loves wearing it around. Of course it doesn't match her pretty birthday dress but she just had to wear it.

We are going to take her the Denny's tonight for her birthday because her favorite thing to eat is pancakes and that is what she will have for dinner on her special day!!

Happy Birthday we love you!

Kids say the funnies things!

So yesterday Jeff and I picked up the kids from day care and went to get water. I sat in the back with the kids and was talking to Kaleb. Jeff was trying to talk to Kensie. She of course was being a brat and looking out the window deliberatly not looking at him. Jeff kept saying her name Kensie, McKensie, Kensie. Finally, as she was still looking out the window she said "I am thinking about something". You could tell that she was trying her hardest not to look at either of us and you could see the corners of her mouth twitch like she was trying really hard not to smile. We both just laughed. Finally, I stuck my face right up to hers and said love you Kensie and she looked at us and said love you.

Keep in mind this little girl with the attitude is not even 2 years old yet. We know we are going to have our hands full with her.

Cute Bathtime Pictures!

So I just had to post these pictures my mom just emailed me. I don't remember her taking them but obviously I was so into the book I was reading I didn't notice her taking the pictures.

This is a routine we have with the kids. They always brush their teeth right after their bath. This time Kaleb had to go to the bathroom so I put him on the toilet which was just great for McKensie since they always fight who gets to stand on the stool and go first. Well McKensie thought she would be helpful and give him his tooth brush and some toothpaste so he could brush his teeth while going to the bathroom. I just love when they are nice to each other!

Adult Weekend Getaway!

So Jeff and I decided at the last minute to go on a trip to California without kids. My mom was nice enough to take the kids for a few days so we could get away. My sister and her husband had planned this trip to Magic Mountain about a month ago with a few of their friends. Jeff and I didn't know if we would be able to get off work or not to go. Of course the day before they left we found out that we could go. So we hitched a ride with them and headed for California. We got their pretty early on Friday and after checking in to our hotel we headed for the beach in Santa Monica! Both the weather and water were great. We got to walk on the beach at night and put our feet in the ocean. The water was great and we had a good time.

Saturday we got up and ate breakfast and headed on down to Magic Mountain. It was a crazy day. Of course it had to be a weekend when all the teenage groups ended up going. So we were surrounded by teenagers and long lines. All in all it was fun and wasn't to bad. I think the longest we had to wait in lines were like and hour and a half. This was for the new roller coaster called the X2 which was well worth the wait. I think my favorite in the park was the Tatsu which you ride hanging upside down dangling in the air. This was a picture I got right underneath the ride. We rode this ride about 3 times.
Of course you can't go to a theme park without taking a picture with a cartoon character. I am not sure but it always seems like a fun thing to do. Acting like kids, eating curros, and funnel cake who can beat a day like that. We both had a great time and really enjoyed ourselves. It has been a long time since we got to spend a weekend together without our kids. Don't get me wrong we did miss the kids but it is refreshing to getaway once in awhile and spend time together.